There’s this thing I do sometimes–towards the end of the month, usually. I mean, not every month, but the end of the month is when it’s most likely to happen. Needing to buy something expensive can do it. Putting money in the bank can do it, especially if I’m anxious and paying attention to how much the amount goes up by.
Anyway. This thing is the thing where you start figuring out exactly how much money you have and how long you could manage for if there was absolutely no more income. I had to go pick up my meds and I spent a dozen minutes wandering around the groceries section of the drug store figuring how much I could get in the way of groceries if I cashed in all my rewards points. (The chain has a pretty standard spend-money-get-points-redeem-points thing going.)
I have no idea why I was doing this math. Things are fine, I know this, and even when I’m thinking about it I’m not worrying. It’s more just a very very absorbing problem, like a Sudoku with addition.
 Always makes me think of the description of the drug superstore in Stephen King’s “The Sun Dog”. Household goods and widgets and toiletries and food and cleaning supplies and toys and candy and way at the back, the pharmacy. Because it is still technically a drug store.